Thursday, May 13, 2010

An Artist in the Making

My love for drawing began when I was very young.  Some of my first memories were drawing and taping my masterpieces to the walls and doors of our home.  In a way, I was creating my own gallery of work.  Just being able to create gave me joy.

But somewhere along the way, I lost the desire to create.  I grew up and allowed myself to be convinced that it was nonsensical to be an artist.  I spent four years earning a degree in education only to abandon the profession altogether.  Now that I am in a different career, I still yearn for that dream of being a working artist, but something holds me back.  Sometimes, I feel like that feeling of regret, of not originally pursuing art in college, keeps me frozen with the fear of failure.  I make small, incremental steps toward being an artist -- but what about the things I need to do that go beyond just creating art?  You know, like promoting and actually selling my art, the not-so-creative-but-necessary part of it all?  Sometimes the pressure of making it real makes me feel like a deer stuck in headlights.  I know that I need to work on a plan and clarify what my goals really are.  But where do I start?

I thought about these things when I traveled home to Swansboro last weekend to visit my sister and my mother for Mother's Day.  (Sometimes a day with the ones you love can be the best medicine for what ails you.)  While back in my hometown, I got to spend some quality time with my niece, Lennox, who will be turning two this July.  Each time I see her, she becomes more and more independent, smart, and sassy -- exactly the kind of woman I want to be.

She's a take charge kind of gal, and, guess what?  She loves to draw.

Lennox Drawing

Watching Lennox take joy in drawing makes me think back to my childhood and how I felt when I would draw.  Whatever Lennox chooses to do in life, I hope she chooses to follow her passion.  And I know that there's still time for me to do the same.

Over the course of the next few months, I will be taking steps to reassess my goals so that I can be the kind of artist that I want to be.  I'm excited about the journey and am glad that you will be a part of it.


"Why not go out on a limb?  Isn't that where the fruit is?"
- Frank Scully

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