A Delicate Blossom She Is Not

While Izzy has been napping during the day, I've been slowly fitting in some painting time for myself.  It's felt really good to get my hands dirty in something other than spit up and baby poop (though I do that happily).  This week, I began tinkering with a painting that I began in the spring and has laid unfinished on the shelf for a few months.  Every time I entered my art studio to get on the computer, the painting glared at me, begging to be finished.  Part of me was undecided on just how to finish it. It was pretty enough, but it needed something...

For those of you who know me, you know that I love words and often try to incorporate them in my art if at all possible.  Looking at the unfinished painting, I suddenly had an idea of what I wanted to convey -- "A delicate blossom she was not.  But she moved me just the same."  These words are a reflection of how I see myself... but I didn't always see myself that way.

Growing up, I was painfully shy.  You could barely get a peep out of me.  I just never had the confidence that some of the other kids had.  Maybe it had to do with being a child of divorce and not having my mother around anymore.  Maybe it had to do with all of the moving around I did as a child and always being the new kid in town.  Maybe it had to do with living hand-to-mouth and never knowing where the next meal would come from.  Maybe it had to do with the strict father I had who, with just a look, could bring me to tears.  Maybe it had to do with always being the only Asian kid in a 20 mile radius and being exposed to all the racism that goes along with that.  A culmination of these influences and more made me a delicate child.

But there came a point in my life, where I began to gain the confidence I lacked for so long.  I attribute that turning point to the day I was reunited with my mother.  After living with my father for 12 years, my father finally decided to give custody of me, my sister, and my brother to our mother, so that he could begin a new life with a new wife in England.  From that moment on, my life changed.  All of the worries I had disappeared and all of the burden I shouldered was no longer expected of me.  For once in my life, I could be a kid, and I had a mother to nurture me and to care for me.  And, I tell you, once those basic needs are taken care of, you just gain the confidence you need to live life.  My mother taught me how to be strong and be independent and to be proud of who I am and where I come from.

And now that I am a mother, myself, I hope to instill those same values to my daughter.  I don't expect her to be refined and to always be a lady.  Instead, I want her to be a mover and a shaker and to have the kind of childhood I never had.  I want her to be a dreamer and to seize opportunities when they present themselves to her.  I want her to laugh out loud and to get dirty and to dance like crazy when the spirit strikes her.  For these are the things that will move me -- not a child of delicate perfection -- but a child who isn't afraid to live, to fall, to make mistakes, and to pick herself up and try again.

I am no longer that delicate cherry blossom, falling apart at the slightest rattle (though memories of that time will always linger within me).  I am stronger now and have realized my dream to move people with my art.  And as I settle into motherhood, this will continue to be my dream... that, and raising Izzy, my ultimate creation, to move others.

"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a silly heart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam." 

- John Candy, from Uncle Buck

Goodbye Lil' Superman

I know I have been absent for a while here. After the craft fair, life just seemed to get crazy for me. The happiest and most life altering event that has happened so far was learning that my husband and I are expecting. Our first child is due on June 24, 2011, and we couldn't be happier. As you can imagine, I've been going through all the things one goes through with pregnancy - fatigue, nausea, weird pregnancy cravings, etc. And as I enter into my second trimester, I can already tell that I am starting to feel like my old self again (with the exception of my growing belly). With this renewed energy I am hoping to get back into my studio to create some new pieces for the New Year.

But even with happiness, sometimes sadness comes, too. Perhaps the most devastating event that has happened was the recent passing of my nephew Brady. After five months of being treated for his congenital heart condition, he passed away on December 10th. As you can imagine, my family is heart broken. But despite our great loss, we gained so much from Brady. I think the pastor at Brady's funeral summed it up best. He said, "I counted the days. Brady was here on this earth for 145 days. And in those 145 days, he accomplished more than most people do in their entire lives. He made us all better people. He brought us together as a community, and he showed us the power of love."

At Brady's funeral, most of the nurses from the PICU unit where Brady received a majority of his care came to pay their condolences and read a poem that they dedicated to Brady. They called him their Little Superman. This may have been because my sister dressed him up as Superman for Halloween, but I think it was mostly because he was a fighter and endured a lot during his short time with us.

After the funeral, the nurses came to my sister's home, bearing red and blue helium balloons (Superman's colors). They planned on releasing the balloons in memory of Brady. As we all stood in the cold, one of the nurses sang a song she often sang to the children in her life - "A Bushel and Peck."

It was sweet. When the song was over, we released our balloons into the night sky. They traveled together in a cluster up to heaven, and up to Brady. It was a beautiful moment.

The beautiful staff from the PICU unit

A few days after the funeral, I heard the song "One Last Christmas" by Matthew West on the radio. Not only did it bring tears to my eyes, it really struck a chord with me. It reminded me of Brady and how much he has changed our lives. I think my sister-in-law said it best in responding to the song: "That is beautiful. There is such goodness in the world even in the face of tragedy. Proof that every person no matter how small can touch the world in an amazing way. Brady did just that!"

Thank you Brady for blessing us with your love. You'll live forever in our hearts.

A hundred hearts would be too few

To carry all my love for you.

~Author Unknown

Little Pink Houses of Hope Needs You!

Today, someone special in my life needs your help.  My sister-in-law, Jeanine, wants to take what she has learned on her journey through breast cancer to help other families affected by the disease.  As a breast cancer survivor, she has found a new purpose in life.  That purpose is Little Pink Houses of Hope.


Here's where you can help.  Take a minute or two out of your day every day in September, go to this link, and vote.  Don't have a computer nearby but have a cell phone handy?  You can text 102293 to PEPSI (73774) to vote as well.  Help spread the Little Pink Fever!! We need your help to win. Post it on your Facebook, send the link and text code to your email contacts, shout it from the street corner!

Doesn't it feel GREAT to be a part of something so wonderful and powerful?

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it."
-C.C. Scott

My New Meishi

I am in love...

With my new business cards.  Aren't they just darling?


Business cards are a big deal in Japan.  (Maybe that's why I wanted some ever so badly.)  There is an established ritual surrounding the proper way to present, exchange, and accept meishi (business cards) from the people you meet.  Now I have some to share.  Yay!

Need schooling in Japanese business card etiquette?  Watch this video.

I used Vista Print to design and create the pink business cards using an online template that allowed me to upload my own graphics. I ordered the variety pack featuring my artwork from Moo using pictures from my Flickr account.  I'm very happy with the results.

I have been setting small goals for myself to slowly creep into this creative life.  My first goal was to create a website.  Check.  My second goal was to create business cards.  Check.  I love checking things off my list, don't you?

Happiness.

 "Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you."

- Marsha Norman

A Beautiful Walk with Friends

I've often driven past the walking/biking trail overpass for the North Carolina Museum of Art on I-440 but had never been there myself until recently.  With the weather getting warmer and my desire to be outside increasing, I decided to visit the trail before the North Carolina humidity becomes too much to bear.  Luckily, my friends Alfonso and Beth decided to join me.

Beth and Alf

Me and Beth

Early on in the trail, walkers and bikers are exposed to large pieces of art, many of them whimsical and fun in nature.  Here is a collection of what we saw on the trail:








Although the trail does not contain art throughout its path, the art that it does have makes for a unique walking experience.  Now, if only I could find more walking trails like this one... Any suggestions?

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

- Steven Wright

An Artist in the Making

My love for drawing began when I was very young.  Some of my first memories were drawing and taping my masterpieces to the walls and doors of our home.  In a way, I was creating my own gallery of work.  Just being able to create gave me joy.

But somewhere along the way, I lost the desire to create.  I grew up and allowed myself to be convinced that it was nonsensical to be an artist.  I spent four years earning a degree in education only to abandon the profession altogether.  Now that I am in a different career, I still yearn for that dream of being a working artist, but something holds me back.  Sometimes, I feel like that feeling of regret, of not originally pursuing art in college, keeps me frozen with the fear of failure.  I make small, incremental steps toward being an artist -- but what about the things I need to do that go beyond just creating art?  You know, like promoting and actually selling my art, the not-so-creative-but-necessary part of it all?  Sometimes the pressure of making it real makes me feel like a deer stuck in headlights.  I know that I need to work on a plan and clarify what my goals really are.  But where do I start?

I thought about these things when I traveled home to Swansboro last weekend to visit my sister and my mother for Mother's Day.  (Sometimes a day with the ones you love can be the best medicine for what ails you.)  While back in my hometown, I got to spend some quality time with my niece, Lennox, who will be turning two this July.  Each time I see her, she becomes more and more independent, smart, and sassy -- exactly the kind of woman I want to be.

She's a take charge kind of gal, and, guess what?  She loves to draw.



Watching Lennox take joy in drawing makes me think back to my childhood and how I felt when I would draw.  Whatever Lennox chooses to do in life, I hope she chooses to follow her passion.  And I know that there's still time for me to do the same.

Over the course of the next few months, I will be taking steps to reassess my goals so that I can be the kind of artist that I want to be.  I'm excited about the journey and am glad that you will be a part of it.

"Why not go out on a limb?  Isn't that where the fruit is?"

- Frank Scully

Ceramic Tile and Alcohol Ink Mania!

After reading Artsyville's tutorial on ceramic tile and alcohol ink, I just couldn't wait to try it!

Back in February, I invited my friends, Amanda and Beth, to come over to try the tutorial with me.  Not sure what to expect, we surveyed the list of materials:

• white ceramic tile
• Mod Podge Hard Coat
• 1" brush
• Adirondack alcohol inks
• Adirondack alcohol blending solution
• old tooth brush

I got the party started by diving into the alcohol blending solution.  I swirled it around the surface of my tile with an old toothbrush.  Then, I selected one of the alcohol inks to drip onto the tile... and magic.  The colors spread out and sometimes swirl when you add them.  Amanda and Beth jumped in and also got some amazing effects on their tiles, too.  Here are the fruits of our labor:

Beth's Tiles

Amanda's Tiles

My Tiles

I think the hardest part of the whole process was waiting for each coat of the Mod Podge Hard Coat to dry (20 minutes for each coat!).  After the girls left for the night, I continued on to design some insects for my tiles.  I was already using decoupage sealer.  Might as well decoupage an original design, too, right?  Here's what I came up with:



And to finish things off, I gave each tile a few coats of water-based varnish and a nice cork backing.  I think I just found my new addiction.

"We hope that, when the insects take over the world, 

they will remember with gratitude how we took them 

along on all our picnics."

- Bill Vaughan

Art for Charity

I'm a big believer in giving.  The mere act of giving can help one recognize their own humanity and can make someone else's world a little brighter.  Giving, if done for unselfish reasons, is a liberating and freeing thing to do.

I recently decided to give of myself the best way I know how - through my art.  My best friend, Angela, is an assistant principal at a junior high school, asked if I would be willing to offer my artistic services to her school this month for Relay for Life.  Originally, she asked if I could do caricatures at the event to help raise money, and, although I enjoy drawing people, caricatures make me nervous.  I proposed, instead, to donate eight paintings to be auctioned off at the event.





The paintings have been keeping me busy for the past couple of weeks.  I began by painting several canvases, each with a different color and background.  I then began drawing a unique illustration for each canvas, sometimes drawing girls and sometimes drawing imaginary creatures.  I then colored the drawings with watercolor pencils, carefully cut out each illustration, and Mod Podged each drawing to a canvas.  Each painting was created using a 12x12 canvas and features a handwritten quote.  I hope people find them interesting and worth taking home.





If you are interested in any of the paintings below, they will be available for purchase at the Relay for Life event at Triton High School in Erwin, NC, on April 23rd.

My New and Improved Space

When Jason and I first began searching for a new home, I dreamed of the day I would have my own space -- a space for creating and producing my art.  When we finally purchased our home in the summer of 2008, I was just giddy with excitement.  I cordoned off one of the bedrooms and converted it into my own art studio.  Though it was a little small, it was cozy and all mine.

Fast forward to 2010.  Brace yourself as you bear witness to the state in which the studio was kept...  Eeeeeek!

Clutter, Chaos, and Wasted Closet Space!

I knew something had to be done about this hot mess.  The state of chaos often forced me to do work in the dining room or living room.  There just wasn't space to do anything creative in the actual studio.  The lack of organization left me with an icky feeling, especially when I had to go in there to use the computer.

So I decided to take action and ask for help.

I went to Lowes and purchased a Rubbermaid closet organization kit.  With the help of my friends Beth and Shannon, the new closet was installed in about an hour and a half.  Once the closet space was reclaimed, Shannon put on her organization hat and forced me to go through various piles I had avoided for months (she's one tough cookie).  After five hours of cleaning and organizing, I ended up with the following heavenly results:

My Dream Come True

I'm so happy with the space now.  I feel just like Julie Andrews spinning on a mountain top singing my heart out.  What would a girl do without the help of her fantastically organized friends?

"Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. 

You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live."

-Mother Abbess from The Sound of Music

Scherenschnitte Under the Sea

There once lived a mermaid trapped in the mind of an artist.  All she wanted was to swim in a beautiful sea.

The artist heard the mermaid's lament and decided to set her free.

The artist drew the mermaid on some pretty paper and cut her loose.




The artist also gave her a sister so that the mermaid would not be lonely in her new world.




The artist covered the sister mermaids in glue so that they could be safe and secure in their new ocean home.




But the glue proved to be a bit unforgiving... Oopsie.




The mermaids forgave the artist.  Afterall, she was setting them free into a beautiful underwater home.  Their only request was to be made pink (their favorite color).  All was forgiven and they lived happily ever after.

“A mermaid found a swimming lad, 

Picked him for her own, 

Pressed her body to his body, 

Laughed; and plunging down 

Forgot in cruel happiness 

That even lovers drown.” 

-William Butler Yeats